Rewritten scene

Enter Friar Lawrence and Romeo.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

So smile the heavens upon this holy act,

That after-hours with sorrow chide us not!

ROMEO

Amen, amen! But come what sorrow can,

It cannot countervail the exchange of joy

That one short minute gives me in her sight.

Do thou but close our hands with holy words,

Then love-devouring death do what he dare,

It is enough I may but call her mine.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

These violent delights have violent ends,

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which as they kiss consume. The sweetest honey

Is loathsome in his own deliciousness,

And in the taste confounds the appetite.

Therefore love moderately: long love doth so;

Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow.

Enter Juliet.

Here comes the lady. O, so light a foot

Will ne’er wear out the everlasting flint;

A lover may bestride the gossamers

That idles in the wanton summer air,

And yet not fall; so light is vanity.

JULIET

Good even to my ghostly confessor.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Romeo shall thank thee, daughter, for us both.

JULIET

As much to him, else is his thanks too much.

ROMEO

Ah, Juliet, if the measure of thy joy

Be heap’d like mine, and that thy skill be more

To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath

This neighbor air, and let rich music’s tongue

Unfold the imagin’d happiness that both

Receive in either by this dear encounter.

JULIET

Conceit, more rich in matter than in words,

Brags of his substance, not of ornament;

They are but beggars that can count their worth,

But my true love is grown to such excess

I cannot sum up sum of half my wealth.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Come, come with me, and we will make short work,

For by your leaves, you shall not stay alone

Till Holy Church incorporate two in one.

Exeunt.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

I do not want to marry you because your parents are fighting and it is after hours of churchtime.

ROMEO

Come on, please! Can you not feel the joy in the air, of how much we truly love each other? Please marry us Friar. I will not leave this church until i can call her mine.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

I cannot marry you both, because of your two banishments. You cannot be together. The

heavens will not allow it, and your parents will

be furious with me. Let your parents decide who you shall marry, then the heavens will agree.

Enter Juliet.

Here comes the fat, heavy-footed Juliet, just like an elephant. She’ll wer out the floor with all her stomping around.

JULIET

Good evening Friar,

FRIAR LAWRENCE

You should both get out of my sight before I get your parents down here.

JULIET

We came to you for a reason, but you’re not being very helpful.

ROMEO

So we will have to go find another priest to marry us because you can’t change how we feel about each other.

JULIET

We are fortunately so rich in love for each other, you cannot separate us.

FRIAR LAWRENCE

Get out of my sight, you unholy thenes. Go, go, make it quick and make sure the door doesn’t hit you on the way out. I shall make sure that your parents know about this.